frantic to focused

all week i haven't felt myself... but then again i have also felt some old habits come to the surface. so, really, is this just another part of myself.

from the very first moment of my work week until now, i was swamped with phone calls, paperwork, admin stuff, financial b.s. for work, emails, organization for upcoming builds and God knows what else. there's been little time for me, so i'm finally taking the time this evening to unwind, have a glass of wine and spill my thoughts on to this virtual scroll for all (or none) to read.

early in the week, i was on the verge of tears with the amount of work that piled up. then, despite my exhausted state of mind and body, i made myself go to yoga. again, just like on valentines, it was exactly what i needed to regain a clear, mindful focus on work, life and my "innate goodness."

it's amazing how just 2.5 hours of breathing, stretching, holding poses and being still, yet engaged, can transform your state of mind and your capabilities... i still struggled to get everything done that i needed to get done before the end of the week, but i felt more productive and clear-headed at the same time... the body and mind can do wonders if they work together fully.

speaking of which, thanks to this new clarity and self-healing, love is in the air... nothing to write about yet, but definitely there.

challenging week

it's funny. when you're feeling really good about life, you'll be thrown some crazy curve balls. i had an incredible week last week, but this week was really difficult. i had major car problems with Tony's car and had to deal with that (on top of a very busy week at work). then i was asked to fly to Fresno, CA, on thursday for a playground build on friday. this news wasn't easy to take, especially because it was unexpected and so last minute, but for some reason i was completely okay with it... first, i was still feeling so great from the week before -- from all the yoga i'd been doing and all the love that i'd been feeling in my life right now... second, i had to fill in for another Project Manager because her grandfather had died the night before, so i felt obligated to be selfless about the whole situation... third, everything worked out in my favor -- from finding plane ticket to Fresno to catching a ride to the airport from an awesome friend. everything went smoothly until... mid afternoon on friday. we had major structural issues at the build and ended up not leaving the site until 7:30! (only to drive back to SF that night.) it was a very long day, but somehow i survived.

Love and live music

this week was incredible. it started off with a surprisingly wonderful valentine's gift to myself -- a 2.5-hour hatha flow yoga session with Dina Amsterdam. i go to her class when i can, but on monday, she had an extra special line-up for us. it was the best thing i could have done for myself, especially on a day like valentine's. she read poems, prayers, quotes and unique definitions of love. her session focused on opening the chest, restoring the heart and calling upon the love within ourselves... the bottom line is that we must fully love ourselves before we can love others. imagine, if everyone really practiced this kind of true love, then the world would virtually heal itself. i guess it's good that we have a holiday devoted to love; it's just too bad that the commercialism gets in the way of that sometimes. here is her sweet valentine email that she sent out to us:

"To all my Yogi and Yogini Valentines ~

For me today is a very special day... releasing all the commercialized mumbo jumbo and underneath all the hooha. Today is a beautiful day. It is a day to honor the spirit. And to celebrate love. To bring love to the forefront of our minds and hearts... and to trust in the truth that the deepest love we will ever know is the love that is our essence. In addition to how we love and honor and acknowledge others in our life, may this be a day that we love and celebrate and cultivate our own light ~ the wellspring from which all our love flows.

As the Buddha offers ~ May you rest in the innate goodness of your heart.

Thank you for being a part of my world and my heart... for bringing such sweetness and meaning to my life.

All love,
Dina"
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so, then, on wednesday night, i went to go see blackalicious and mos def at the berkeley community theatre. the show was incredible. the venue was a little big for blackalicious, but mos def took the stage by storm. his rhymes, his song, his moves and his talent were to die for. it was so good i was trippin'.

lastly, i went to the thievery corporation show last night. i had a good time and sweated my tail off dancing. it was fun and their music was fly, but i wasn't all that impressed with their stage performance. other than their light show, there was very little "show" to be seen... nevertheless, i was very glad to have gone... it's too bad the social life is so expensive here.