Saturday, April 23, 2005

reflection

this week was beautiful here in SF, and smoothe sailing on my biking commute to work. right now, i'm sitting at the Atlas Cafe (near my house in the Mission), and the sky is threatening to release it's moisture over the plastic canopy of this patio. yesterday, my boss, co-worker and i went to happy hour for margaritas, and later i met up with a former co-worker for a lil' dancin at Milk (in the Haight). the day before, i met up with two former co-workers at the Zeitgeist for some beers and tamales. (it was my first time there.) wednesday, i went to a much-needed yoga session, which helped me recenter my emotionally-distracted heart. it was a good challenge to have Noah accompany me to the class, because i'm realizing that my relationships can sometimes throw me off track and get my emotions all tied up into knots. i recognize that i need to focus on my own path, amid others' wayward journeys through life. to cope, here are my current mantras:

(1) timing can feel like our worst enemy but really it's our saving grace.
(2) we must honor ourselves and respect others always.
(3) at the end of the day, we are all we've got in life.

this is not to say that i don't love everyone (b/c i do especially if they let me in) but it is a type of defense mechanism for life... i guess that's the cancer in me... or maybe it's the self-reflective, self-protective, honest, over-observant, heart-filled, introverted and independent part of me that needs a good booty-shakin on the dance floor or another surreal, out-of-body experience in a House of God and/or out on the Playa to get me back on board.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

blasé... but in NC!

i'm on the up and up, again, but feeling overworked. two weeks ago, i flew to Winnipeg, Manitoba, for a 4-hour Design Day meeting. last week, i led a playground build with the City of Santa Ana, California. this week, i'm assisting another project manager on her playground project in Charlotte, North Carolina. (yes, i'm in NC again!) next week, i should be home (SF), but after that, i'll be on the road again (to Ogden, UT, Redding, CA, and eventually Sparks, NV)... ah, the life of a KaBOOM! project manager. what's more is that when i am in town, i still bike and take the train everyday to work (SF>Redwood City).

somehow, through all that, i still manage to have a bit of a personal life too.

i spent easter with my brother, his fiance, and their friends, and i also joined them for Food Club (a fancy potluck gathering). (the theme this time was colorful foods, and i made lettuce wraps.)... noah and i saw a very intriguing independent film called "dot the i" (Gael Garcia Bernal), and we went to this art opening/event in SF that had a cabaret, marching band and hip hop DJs... i met up with a very old best friend (from elementary school) when i went down to Santa Ana/Huntington Beach last week... among many other things.

now, i'm in NC for work, but i'm able to visit family and friends while i'm here! i went up to Asheville last weekend, and i'm going up to Boone this weekend. yay! i'm so excited to finally meet my new niece! and to see my brother and sister-in-law, too!... somehow, i've got to finish my taxes before friday, too. yikes.

Friday, April 01, 2005

grrrr

i'm on the down slope of a natural high.

i haven't done any yoga in a long time. i've let the stress of work consume me. my body, soul and mind are aching from causes (cycles and people) out of my control. the love that rejuvenated me last month is on reserve and fading. and, in some cases, i'm holding myself back from being my full, true, beautiful self.

where is the hope?
still in me somewhere, i guess.