silent meditations & sweet reflections

time stood still while on the 10-day vipassana retreat, and now it's flying by while visiting alaska again...

first, the retreat:
it was so amazing, fulfilling, transforming and intense (more than 10 years of counseling or therapy). that's what over 100 hours of sitting in silent meditation will do to someone that works patiently and persistently at this incredibly healing universal method... however, it's not for everyone. it takes a lot of self-determination and strong-will to complete the course, but it is well worth it. i highly recommend it.

so it's been about 3 weeks since the retreat, "Do i still feel a difference?" absolutely but the initial empowered feeling is fading a little. like any practice, it's really hard to maintain amidst our everyday realities, especially when our emotions, fears and wants get in the way... nevertheless, i definitely find myself letting go of things, not reacting as quickly, trying to change the patterns in my mind, and generally feeling happier... bottom line: it helps me put things in a much better perspective.

now, my visit to anchorage:
i have tried to do something everyday... whether it's cooking, yoga, church, the slush cup, frisbee golf, chipping the golf ball in the backyard, dinner with friends, movies, biking around the 'hood, riding the bus, salsa dancing lessons, hiking or cleaning, it's just nice to be here... although, sometimes i sense that my inevitable departure for NC and then around the world is difficult for me to swallow.

Anchorage, AK

so now i'm in big wild alaska!

it's gorgeous here in the winter. i'm surrounded by beautiful majestic snow-covered mountains. 10-25 degree days with clear skies and high wind gusts (for now), and 5-10 degree nights. cold... but i managed to get out to see a little reggae music our first night. then i went out and about to check out a little of this winter festival as well as the ceremonial iditarod dog sled race, which actually started the next day up the valley.

on sunday, i went to Mass at noon, then caught a parade downtown (closing the furroundy), and finally i ended up going back out to watch the sunset… which are super-long here (nearly 4 hours long) because the sun just hangs really low in the sky before it finally gives way to the horizon.

anyway, that's all for now. gotta run.

been a while

... since i've had time and stillness to write 'bout myself online. it's not that i'm too busy; it's just that i'm usually too distracted. there's so much happening for me to stop and tell about it all. (not that i have to, but) i want to describe everything i've seen, done and heard, but i also want to be relatively quick about it. so, just to save the time, i'll attempt a somewhat brief list of everything since i last wrote something of substance... plus, i want to catch up so i can start keeping better track of all my random and wonderful life experiences.

okay, let's see...

-after a little stop in western NC to see my fam & friends for july 4th, i lead a playground build project in buffalo, ny. this build was the first time i TRUEly felt really awesome about the work i do for community groups. it was a real, grass-roots build done without the support of any umbrella organization. our community partner was a struggling neighborhood association that merely recognized how desperately they needed a safe playground for their kids. it was very challenging yet rewarding project... also, while up there, my second and i got to visit niagara falls for the first time ever! july 5-9

jen and i at niagara falls, canada

-i helped (or seconded) another project manager's playground build in minneapolis. july 11-14

-i stayed over a day in minneapolis to lead a design day meeting for a new project there (to be built in 2 months time). july 15

-i got handed off another project, and i traveled to lead a design day meeting for a build (to happen take place 2 months later) in chicago. july 18-19

-i lead a playground build in wasilla, ALASKA!, and my second & I had an incredible time sightseeing, fishing & flying in south-central Alaska. july 22-31

wet on build day in wasilla

whitney & i on a glacier lake

watch out, whitney's flyin'

the glacier lake we landed on

fishin' in AK

caught

-i finally took a day off to run errands and enjoyed some of downtown san francisco (like the ferry building, City Car Share, Museum of Modern Art, shopping). august 2

-i lead another design day meeting for a new playground project (to be built 2 months later) in detroit. august 15-16

[recap: i had 3 projects on my plate, and i just finished 2 of my own projects.]

-mardie oakes and my brother, tony deifell, (aka MoTo) got married at the Headlands Center for the Arts in Marin County, CA. the wedding camp weekend* was extraordinary in so many ways, including a house concert with The Weepies, a taco truck for the rehearsal dinner, kite flying, massage, a beautiful wedding ceremony, vintage wear, home-style dinner, an interactive reception, a really cute photographer that they hired, a Polaroid guest book, a make-your-own-cupcake wedding cake, a surprize roller-disco party with black-lights and booze, and a pristine location with so many amazing family and friends. august 18-21
*this special event and time with family is the first of a series of recent random fun moments that have reminded me how much i love living in SF.

mother and son

mom & dad dancing, as always

on the way to the surprise wedding roller-disco

-i traveled to miami to second for another project manager's attempted* playground build in miami. august 22-24
*this build was cancelled due to threats of hurricane katrina, which grazed fort lauderdale the night before the day we would have lead the build.

-i flew back to SF (& to where my sister heather had been hanging out on her own after our brother's wedding the weekend before)... and immediately started packing for Burning Man. august 25-28

-i planned, organized and managed a community of 21 burners in camp wdydwyd?. august 29-september 5
*our event: to take portraits of folks answering the question, why do you do what you do?, and a 4x8 live-painting project, open to any passers-by
*our location this year: ego x 7:20
*our members' origins: san francisco, los angeles, asheville, durham, atlanta, new york -> all of which made for a really awesome intentional community of people
*my highlights: all the diversity of EXTREME and AMAZING art there, an INCREDIBLE time with my sister heather, the freedom, my borrowed beach cruiser, the expanse of black rock city this year, and our portrait project... among SO much else.

siblings

siblings & the man

the last crew to leave our plot of BRC land

[recap: i've just returned from a whirlwind of wedding events, work travel, and a week of Burning Man paradise... but i still have those same 3 projects on my plate... yet, i love it all and i especially love living in SF.]

-i just got handed off another playground project, and i went to lead a design day meeting for a build (to be done in 2 months time) in dallas. while there, i stayed with my cousin louise and her husband justin. september 7-8

-i helped pack our office to move up to san mateo from redwood city, ca... and later, that next weekend, i go to the Power to the Peaceful festival (w/ Michael Franti) in golden gate park with my friend kirsten. september 10

-i lead my build (and closed the project) in south chicago. september 12-16

chicago kick-off

-i returned to our new office space and enjoyed it (& being home in SF) for a whole week. my boss (the director of project management) and our administrative assistant (Laura) fly out from DC to help settle us in, and thanks to their help, it looks great! well, laura had never spent any time in SF, so i showed her around town, we had sushi at Central Station (mission x 17-18), we ended up in north beach, and we drove to work the next morning together. september 19-21

-i got all dressed up in my brown-n-black zebra, fly-girl outfit, and i went down to the SF civic center plaza to dance, people-watch and enjoy the 2nd annual Love Parade (originating in Berlin after the wall fell.) i love SF. september 24

photo shoot after love parade (w/ borrowed tina turner wig)

-i lead my own playground build (and closed the project) in minneapolis. september 25-29

wet on build day

-i came back to a weekend full of bluegrass in golden gate park with my friends, whitney (from work) and kirsten (from corey). we heard gillian welch, tony rice & peter rowan, dolly parton, doc watson, earl scruggs, steve earle, the be good tanyas, emmylou harris, stiff dead cat, and guy clark. september 30-october 1

-finally, i'm home for a bit... AND i lead my own design day for a new playground project (to be built 2 months later) HERE -- in san francisco! october 6

design day meeting in SF

-today, mardie & i went over to their friend jim's place to watch the blue angel's fleet-week show over the bay. (it was such a beautiful and perfect san francisco day, too.) then, we went out to dinner with mardie's friends richard and jen to betelnut (on union st). finally, after tony finally got home from a 9-day business trip, i left MoTo to very randomly (and independently) stop by an art opening event at the Galeria de la Raza. i admired the art, had a couple drinks and went on my way back home again... ah, i love san francisco.

now, coming soon:
-Burning Man decompression parties in SF (tomorrow) and LA (next weekend)
-filming dinner party at MoTo's on monday.(there's a film with will smith (The Pursuit of Happiness) being filmed right outside mardie & tony's, oct 9-13.)
-my playground build in detroit (oct. 17-21)
-my playground build (with eye-candy as my second for the week) in dallas (oct. 24-28)
-halloween and day of the dead in san francisco
-seconding for another project manager's playground build in southern new mexico (Nov. 14-18)
-home (nc? or ct?) for thanksgiving
...

playground build in ALASKA!

i have been SO busy lately... getting ready for Burning Man, for my brother Tony's wedding and for several other upcoming playground builds (in Minneapolis, Chicago and Detroit)... i'm also (somehow) managing to enjoy SF, sign up for the City Carshare program, organize our camp for BM, and maintain my sanity.

below is the Build Day summary from a couple of weeks ago where I built a playground just north of Anchorage, Alaska! my second and I had the best time up there. we went fishing (& caught some!), driving, hiking, flying (in a little 4-seater over a glacier and landing on a glacier lake), site-seeing, and canoeing. the trip was fantastic, the mountains were spectacular and the culture was so unique! i loved it.


end of build day

Build Day summary, written by me:
Last week in beautiful Wasilla, Alaska, home of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race headquarters, Hope led a fantastic playground build with 135 volunteers from The Home Depot (along with AARP) and Iditarod Elementary School. Whitney rocked the Build as Hope’s Second, and PSI’s Chad Willow jumped into gear as a great installer. Overall, the Build was a relatively normal playground build – the only HUGE difference was the so-called “mulch pile” that came in the form of over 20 pallets of 45 bags of mulch each. Yep, that’s right! It was shipped up from the “lower 48” and unloaded from two containers on Prep Day 1 by a forklift and pallet-jack. Also, on Prep Day, volunteers outlined the US Map. In fact, Whitney’s highlight was finally outlining the Alaska that’s to scale with the rest of the US (have you ever looked at it?? It’s huge!!)!!! Unfortunately, they didn’t get the chance to paint it (or the Hopscotch and 4-square games) on Build Day due to the rain.

The cold and wet Alaskan weather, however, didn’t stop Build Day volunteers from building an awesome outdoor classroom with a “community” bulletin board (modified to host a removable dry-erase board), 2 planter benches, 5 planter boxes, an incredible impromptu butterfly garden, a playhouse, and a great playground. This new playground was particularly bright amidst the surrounding pea gravel, and it added some awesome play value to their existing playspace with a Tire Swing, Monorail, Babble-on and Spiral Slide. To keep the excited youth at bay, volunteers led some well-organized games and craft activities, including stepping stones, paint-by-number murals, and decorating painted fish cut-outs (from Masonite board). At lunch, the mayor of Wasilla herself helped make sure everyone got fed. Everything finished up for an on-time Board-cutting, accompanied by three songs from the youth.

Media:
-ABC
-Anchorage Daily News (paper)
-The Frontiersman
-Q99.7 (provided music and PSAs)

VIPs:
-Mayor Dianna Keller (of Wasilla)
-Bob Doyle, Chief School Administrator
-Stephanie Martin, Community Affairs Manager, The Home Depot
-Homer D. Poe
-John Klapperich, President of Q99.7

Side Projects:
-outdoor classroom
-“community” bulletin board (modified to host a removable dry-erase board)
-2 planter benches
-5 planter boxes
-a butterfly garden
-a playhouse

Highlights:
-Whitney’s highlights include Alaska on the US Map, the “Iditarod Song” performance by the kids, & the first time that the community bulletin board team sunk the board in the holes, only to find out that it was 5’ tall!!
-Hope’s highlight was when, at the closing, the mayor made a point to say that The Home Depot’s motto is “Improve Everything we touch,” and if everyone lived by this motto, the world would be a better place.

time flies

man. i can't believe a whole month has gone by. so much's happened (as it always does) and i can't keep up... so here are the highlights.

i've been really busy at work. the summer time is our peak season, but that's beside the point. i just have way too much to do, all the time. long hours. no comp time. too much travel. a little bureaucracy. it's exhausting... but (mostly) all worth the experience of working with communities, building playgrounds, going places i'd never be able to go to otherwise, meeting new people all over, learning a lot, and getting better at everything i do. i'm thankful for it, but it's a struggle.

i'm about to get on the road again... in the past month, i went to Winnipeg, MB, for a playground build (see next post) and to Houston, TX, (for less than 8 hours!) for a design day meeting (to begin a new project for another project manager). in the coming month, get this, i'm going...
-to DC for a week-long project management (PM) retreat,
-to Asheville, NC (home!) for the 4th of july,
-to Buffalo, NY, for my playground build,
-back to SF for 36 hours,
-to Minneapolis, MN, for another PM's playground build & for my design day meeting,
-back home to SF for a week, and
-finally to Wasilla (near Anchorage), AK, for my playground build.

ah. the life of a KaBOOM! PM...

now, you ask, what about life in SF? well, after my mom came to visit, everything's been on the up and up. meeting some new folks, out with friends, beautiful weather, biking through the city, confidence, seein' Digable Planets in concert (reunion tour), home-made sushi, home-made margaritas, spontaneous good times, and unusual encounters (e.g., with a random acquaintance that i met in Alaska). he had a lay-over in Oakland, and we ended up hanging out for about 24 hours... i'm all about meeting new people, but that was the first time i took the risk of trusting a complete stranger and hosting him while getting to know him. crazy, huh?... well, it all worked out, and now i have a new friend in Alaska that's going to hook me up with a fishing trip and a plane ride around Mt. McKinley at the end of july. :)

so before i jet set out of SF for about 3 weeks solid, i'm going down to the mission flea market, to Japantown for some sushi, into Downtown for the (Gay) Pride parade and festivities tomorrow, and to the Elbo Room for Dub night in the Mission tomorrow night... i guess i've got to live it up in the city, when i have the chance to.

Eklutna Lake (on the way up to Wasilla)

lil' northern exposure

Just got back from a short business trip to Anchorage and Wasilla, Alaska, and... Wow. The mountains there are spectacular, huge and magnificent, and the culture is so rich and awe-some, yet unusual. First, the native influence is striking. Second, the people's survival (and adventures) through their brutal winters is amazing. Third, the isolation, vastness and hidden sprawl of humanity is surprising. And, lastly, their short "American" history/infestation has produced an odd mix of opinions... Just as the U.S. "bought" the Louisiana Purchase from the French, we also "bought" Alaska from Russia (in 1917, I believe). So there's that bitter taste of stolen, yet borrowed, and re-sold land that natives are left to deal with (especially when our current president seeks to rape the land of its natural riches). Meanwhile, signs of urban modernity are submerging -- youthful goth, growing gang activity, corporate expansion, and over-populated tourist populations... I guess there's good and bad in everything. Hey, if it weren't for corporate expansion, I wouldn't have had the chance to go up there and build a playground with their money and (re)invested interest in the community... Either way, it's tricky to balance the diverging interests between the public and the private sectors, especially in an environment like this.