why was i wavering? for one thing, my sister & i haven't bought our RTW tickets, yet, but also i guess i was somehow waiting for a sign to confirm my decision either way...
an endless stream of life-altering questions flows through my mind. what am i doing? what could i be throwing away? is this the end or will it come full circle? would it be a mistake to stay or to go?
the only thing i have to hold on to is the faith that this feeling of devastation will pass and that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to... but there's no sense in hanging on to the unknown right now. i've only got this one precious life to live, and i'm taking a huge bold leap to claim it for myself... God willing.
"We had definitely committed ourselves
and were halfway out of our ruts.
We had put down our passage money
-- booked a sailing to Bombay.
This may sound too simple,
but is great in consequence.
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
there is one elementary truth
the ignorance of which kills
countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
providence moves too.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor
all manner of unforeseen incidents,
meetings and material assistance
which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"
Excerpt from The Scottish Himalaya Expedition [1951]
1 comment:
Providence is moving
"the only thing i have to hold on to is the faith that this feeling of devastation will pass and that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to -- with or without him. "
Hope this is but one way to look at it, your latest passage
"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
providence moves too."
This, to me, is speaking of being proactive in your life-there are the natural orders of things, cause and reaction, having faith that things will work out how they are supposed to in the end. I used to think this way a lot, until I learned that sometimes the most important thing we can do is choose, choose out paths, embody our decisions, and know that what we have today we may never have again tomorrow and then I ask myself if I can live with those consequences, because loss is a part of living but doesn't always have to be. I don't know if what I'm saying makes much sense, but I love traveling, but haven't had the chance to be a nomad, I have a house, a car, a dog, and all I've ever really wanted was to find that someone special-I love good food but don't always get to eat what I want-when love is served to you on a platter I guess you have to decide if you can live with it's potential loss-and just be happy for what you've experienced thus far. Every journey we go on we come back a new person, with new experiences and sometimes new dreams-but only you know when that journey is supposed to end so your living can begin.
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